A Change of Heart

From all of us who have family or friends or work associates who are gay - a thank you to the Republican Mayor of San Diego.  And my thanks to Andy Tobias for the alert.

Here's hoping that, one day, some of the Republican and Democrat presidential front runners will take a similar stance.

Mayor Jerry Sanders yesterday:

       With me this afternoon is my wife, Rana

I am here this afternoon to announce that I will sign the resolution that the City Council passed yesterday directing the City Attorney to file a brief in support of gay marriage.

My plan, as has been reported publicly, was to veto that resolution, so I feel like I owe all San Diegans an explanation for this change of heart.

During the campaign two years ago, I announced that I did not support gay marriage and instead supported civil unions and domestic partnerships.

I have personally wrestled with that position ever since.  My opinion on this issue has evolved significantly -- as I think have the opinions of millions of Americans from all walks of life.

In order to be consistent with the position I took during the mayoral election, I intended to veto the Council resolution. As late as yesterday afternoon, that was my position.

The arrival of the resolution -- to sign or veto -- in my office late last night forced me to reflect and search my soul for the right thing to do.

I have decided to lead with my heart -- to do what I think is right -- and to take a stand on behalf of equality and social justice. The right thing for me to do is to sign this resolution.

For three decades, I have worked to bring enlightenment, justice and equality to all parts of our community.

As I reflected on the choices that I had before me last night, I just could not bring myself to tell an entire group of people in our community that they were less important, less worthy and less deserving of the rights and responsibilities of marriage -- than anyone else -- simply because of their sexual orientation.

A decision to veto this resolution would have been inconsistent with the values I have embraced over the past 30 years.

I do believe that times have changed. And with changing time, and new life experiences, come different opinions. I think that's natural, and certainly it is true in my case.

Two years ago, I believed that civil unions were a fair alternative. Those beliefs, in my case, have since changed.

The concept of a "separate but equal" institution is not something that I can support.

I acknowledge that not all members of our community will agree or perhaps even understand my decision today.

All I can offer them is that I am trying to do what I believe is right.

I have close family members and friends who are members of the gay and lesbian community. These folks include my daughter Lisa and her partner, as well as members of my personal staff.

I want for them the same thing that we all want for our loved ones -- for each of them to find a mate whom they love deeply and who loves them back; someone with whom they can grow old together and share life's wondrous adventures.

And I want their relationships to be protected equally under the law. In the end, I could not look any of them in the face and tell them that their relationships -- their very lives -- were any less meaningful than the marriage that I share with my wife Rana.

Thank you.

Comments

[Greg]

While I applaud the Mayors action, it is interesting to note that his feelings and politics on this issue only change when it came to light that his daughter was gay. Now I am not taking anything away from him, but I think this would of been more significant if he had done so before this came to light. I also applaud his position more than I could say for others in the republican Party. People such as Alan Keyes, and Phyllis Schlafly who both have children that are gay, and openly advocate positions that deny them equal civil rights.

[Greg]

Joan Walsh of Salon Magazine echoes the same words and sentiments you spoke of when she wrote this on Thursday:
http://www.salon.com/opinion/walsh/politics/2007/09/20/jerry_sanders_video/index.html

The courage of Mayor Jerry Sanders

This is the way necessary social change happens. It starts out unthinkable, and then one day it's inevitable.

I'm not going to spend much time describing San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders' statement about why he changed his mind and supports gay marriage. Watch the video, below. (Don't watch it if you can't afford to have a good cry this afternoon.) Sanders, a Republican, explains that he planned to veto a City Council resolution supporting efforts to overturn California's ban on gay marriage, but he changed his mind when the resolution reached his desk. Things get dramatic at about 1:55 in the video:

"The arrival of the resolution to sign or veto in my office late last night -- [pauses] please excuse us -- forced me to reflect and search my soul for the right thing to do. I've decided to lead with my heart, which is probably obvious at the moment, to do what I think is right and to take a stand on behalf of equality and social justice."

He tells reporters that his daughter Lisa and members of his staff are gay, and explains: "In the end, I could not look any of them in the face and tell them that their relationships -- their very lives -- were any less meaningful than the marriage that I share with my wife, Rana," Sanders said.

I myself was a cowardly civil unions supporter, until San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom started marrying gay couples at City Hall three years ago, and the sight of thousands of gay people, from all over the world, lining up to exercise this basic human right changed my mind forever. San Diego still isn't San Francisco, and this isn't a political no-brainer there, the way it was for Newsom. Mayor Sanders is a hero today.