Talkin' 'Bout My Generation
The celebration of my folks' 60th wedding annivesary this past weekend took many forms. Friday night, my immediate family, along with my cousin Tony's family from Chicago indulged in corned beef, rye bread and matzoh ball soup. Saturday night? An elegant, dazzling party with Mom and Dad's nearest and dearest.
Sunday, Mom's brother and sister-in-law invited us to The Best Brunch Ever in America - followed by viewing of photos and old movies at their abode. Everyone was struck by mom's beauty. Only the blind could miss it.
I was also fascinated, however, at how frugal and conservative with finances my parents' generation had been. Clothes were modest and one child received hand-me-downs from the older ones. Entertaining meant cooking in the backyard, with kids playing on the swing set - rather than everyone heading out for some pricey restaurant.
We saw shots (many, many shots :)) of Mom and Dad's first "big" vacation: several days in Mexico City. The vacation was quite lovely. But - it occurred after they had been together for 11 years. Today, how many couples do you know who believe they are being deprived if they don't get at least one week a year on a cruise, jaunt to Europe - or at least several days at a luxurious spa?
The Jacobses followed a grim financial path trod by many others. When they purchased their two-bedroom condo in 2000 for $82,000, it was exciting. About to get married, they each had decent, steady jobs, and their payments on the mortgage and condo fees were about $800. "It was fun, it was great," Lisa Jacobs said. "We had something of our own." It was her first time living outside of home, apart from college.
As the value of the condo increased, as it did for most real estate in the state, the Jacobses dipped into the equity, spending money for fun. They refinanced several times through August 2004, to pay off credit card debt, until finally their mortgage debt had mushroomed to more than $100,000 and their total monthly payments had nearly doubled, to about $1,460. One of the lenders was Fremont Investment & Loan, which has been sued by the state attorney general's office for allegedly engaging in predatory and unfair lending practices.
"It was my fault," said Lisa Jacobs, who had had financial problems before and had to file for bankruptcy in 2001. "I just bought stuff for the sake of buying," such as clothes.
The reasons for so many bankruptcies are many and varied. Even for those, like this couple, who were mostly responsible for their own sad fate, they must be viewed with sadness.
Still, sometimes I wonder how we got to this place.
When did having the latest in fashions, vehicles, jewelry, vacations, homes, entertaining and more take precedence over taking care of your family and saving for rainy days? Why did retirement become something that way too many of my generation never even gave a thought?
We can look for blame all around us: television shows that show twenty-somethings enjoying condos that must cost $1 million if they cost a buck, all the "celebrity magazines" that applaud people for being a size 0 and making $20 million a movie - all the while mostly ignoring people who are quietly working on cures for specific cancers and attempting to solve creative solutions to our energy needs.
I'm not certain of why my generation became the "gimme gimme gimme NOW" generation - after the greatest generation set such a good example. I only know that too many of us today are learning painful lessons after worshiping that which does not really matter all that much.
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