Red Roaver, Red Roaver

If you are a prehistoric dinosaur like myself, then the phrases "Red Roaver," "Mother May I," "Tag", "Hopscotch," "Jump Rope" and a host of others are meaningful.  If you are a child - you are probably wondering if I am speaking in tongues.

When I was a child, as this column aptly describes, we just walked outside and played.  In addition to all of the above games, we roller skated and biked throughout the neighborhood and arranged ball games.  During summer, we'd walk or bike over to the local pool or Lake Michigan.  In the winter, our moms would schedule sleepovers and parties in their rec rooms.  I remember taking the bus to the movies on weekends, and for real treats, jumping on the elevated to oogle all the downtown Chicago sites.  Adventuresome souls like my little sister tackled the backyard slide.

Today, I'm not sure if any "responsible" parent would allow their child to walk three blocks to a friend's home.

For most middle-class American children, "going out to play" has gone the way of the dodo, the typewriter and the eight-track tape. From 1981 to 1997, for instance, University of Michigan time-use studies show that 3- to 5-year-olds lost an average of 501 minutes of unstructured playtime each week; 6- to 8-year-olds lost an average of 228 minutes. (On the other hand, kids now do more organized activities and have more homework, the lucky devils!) And forget about walking to school alone. Today's kids don't walk much at all (adding to the childhood obesity problem).

Increasingly, American children are in a lose-lose situation. They're forced, prematurely, to do all the un-fun kinds of things adults do (Be over-scheduled! Have no downtime! Study! Work!). But they don't get any of the privileges of adult life: autonomy, the ability to make their own choices, use their own judgment, maybe even get interestingly lost now and then.

Speaking of getting lost, I suffered this experience.  I was all of about a robust 8 or so.  I hopped on what I thought was the right bus after a matinee - but it was not.  I don't exactly remember how it all got solved.  Nevertheless, the fact that I am blogging at a ripe old age is more than enough evidence that I eventually calculated how to find my way home. 

While I do not have my own children, and as the saying goes, "talk is cheap" so I don't have to worry about what happens to my little ones, I do think that this column holds more than a kernal of truth.  Humans learn by trial and error.  If we are deprived of this opportunity in our formative years, then we will be woefully unprepared as teenagers and adults with our decision making and problem solving skills. 

I am certain that there are times where parents must monitor and step in for their small children.  Yet I am also confident that we are literally robbing children of the experiences and choices that are required for a mature, healthy and confident adulthood.

The marvelous middle way?  No exact specs from me. I only hope that parents realize that "safe cocoons" come with a price - and sometimes that price is too high.

Comments

[WeK]

There is a middle ground; don't have too many structured activities but at the same time provide supervision so that children are safe.

P.S. My what an adorable child is in that picture!

[Peg]

Good idea, WEK.

Photo fine, if you are into weasly little sisters who get their paws into YOUR STUFF way more often than is good for anyone!!