The Minnesota Miracle

Hey, neighbors!  What happened?  Is it really the case that we are sending Al Franken to Washington as one of our senators?

Are we going to have a guy representing us that says this about gays?

"He [Al Franken] recalled writing a skit called 'Seamen on Broadway' that was rejected from the Hasty Pudding show 'by some preppie so they could take some other preppie's skit.' Franken started to smile again, but his tone was serious, too serious. 'It's not preppies, cause I'm a preppie myself. I just don't like homosexuals. If you ask me, they're all homosexuals in the Pudding. Hey, I was glad when that Pudding homosexual got killed in Philadelphia.' The smile became so broad it pushed his eyes shut. He couldn't stand it any longer. 'Put that in, put that in,' Franken laughed, leaning over the desk. 'I'd love to see that in The Crimson.'"

Will we have to say "Senator Franken" to a fellow who mocks Asians like this?  Or realize that we are represented by a guy who had this to say about rape?

In the 1995 New York magazine profile of "Saturday Night Live," Franken is described among a group of show writers sounding out a spoof of Andy Rooney centered on a sedative pill bottle found in the "60 Minutes" essayist's desk. Franken and fellow writers Norm MacDonald and Jim Downey kick around fictional Rooney responses to the discovery of the bottle.

The article quotes Franken putting an edgy twist on the discussion: "And 'I give the pills to Lesley Stahl. Then when Lesley's passed out, I take her to the closet and rape her.' Or `That's why you never see Lesley until February.' Or, `When she passes out I put her in various positions and take pictures of her."

MacDonald takes it a step further, suggesting that the Rooney rape comment be directed at other "60 Minutes" icons Mike Wallace and Ed Bradley. Franken chimes in: "What about `I drag Mike into my office and rape him. Right here! I guess that makes me bad."'

The skit never saw air after the final product got weak laughs in dress rehearsal, the magazine article said.

U.S. Rep. Betty McCollum, a Democrat who backed trial attorney Mike Ciresi before he suspended his campaign, seized on the Planned Parenthood reservations and the 1995 magazine article in a statement critical of Franken.

"Planned Parenthood understands that Minnesotans evaluate our political candidates based on their record, values and character," McCollum said. "It is appalling that anyone could characterize rape, a violent and horrible crime, as a joke."

Well - it is surely looking like this "statesman" will be our Senator soon.  God help us.

How on Earth did this happen?  Our race this year had three candidates; a Democrat, Republican and an Independent.  I actually know the Independent candidate, Barkley, and in a perfect world, I would have voted for him.  In my opinion and the opinion of many others, Coleman is not a fabulous pick, either.

Yet, pragmatist that I am, I appreciated that however much I preferred Barkley to Coleman, that preference paled in contrast to my distaste for having Franken in D.C.  So, I did the practical thing and voted for Coleman.

A few too many others did not.

They made a "statement" and voted for Barkley.

Now, I understand their sentiments, and only wish that we could have had a "Ventura moment" and sent Barkley back to Washington.  (He was there a short time following the tragic death of Paul Wellstone.)

Instead, though, it appears as if we are going to have Al Franken.  We're going to have a guy who states he's happy to see dead gays, a guy who jokes about Asians "f*&g" in a mock accent, and who believes that laughing about drugging and raping a woman is appropriate in any venue at all.

Can you imagine what Democrats would say if a Republican who said such things were going to be a Senator?

Long ago, I thought we had hit bottom in our cultural and political world.  Sometimes, however, bottoms are incredibly deep and dark and disgusting.  Sometimes, my imagination simply is not quite up to the task.