Lots of folks ask me for tips on how to improve their games. I always offer lots of choices, all of which will facilitate this happening. Among them are:
- Kibitz good players
- Play in as tough a field as you can find
- Read the better bridge books and publications
- Practice, practice, practice!
- Study famous matches
- Play conventions and systems that are comfortable for you.
Of course, there is much more.
One of the "more" is something that I cannot stress enough. It is this:
- Be good to your partner
I do think that this may be one of the most underestimated parts of improving one's game: the care and feeding of one's partner. Doing it will, however, pay off enormous dividends.
Is it easy? Most of the time, absolutely not.
Bridge is a tough endeavor. You have to learn the rules of the game, memorize a system and convention, master how to declare and defend (turning the dummy's cards over isn't too terribly tough.) You must play on after having horrific disasters, and maintain your composure and concentration. Of course, there is plenty more.
What is so difficult is when you, bridge genius that you are, calculate just the right shift on defense, or come up with the master bid - only to have that idiot, aka "your partner," fail to follow through.
Part of you wants to scream at him. "What were you thinking, bozo?!" To you, the right choice was as clear as a bell. How could he have gone wrong? You are filled with frustration and anger.
But - the wisest and most winning among us will not scream at partner. Actually, not only will they not scream or have a harsh word - they actually might even be supportive!
Yes, it's true. If your partner fails to find the winning call, or doesn't give you a ruff when it would have been successful, then try something like this instead of a heavy sigh and a dirty look:
- "I'm sorry I wasn't able to make things more clear"
- "Figuring out the defense was tough"
- "I probably would have taken the same line of play"
What happens when you respond this way rather than with antagonism? Your partner is at ease. He's better able to concentrate on all the hands to come. He feels confident and secure; not stupid and confused. He feels like you are on his side and that you are a team - rather than opponents in the boxing ring.
I have been quite blessed. My most established partner, Bill Kent, is formidably wonderful when it comes to responding in this fashion. My longtime close friend and partner "from home," Kerry Holloway, is also quite good at "sharing blame" and being a supportive partner.
Does it make a difference? You bet. Everyone has disasters. Everyone. What often is the demarcation, though, between the pairs that win and stay together and the ones who lose and break up is this: the successful ones are on each other's side.
So, difficult as it may be, remember that your partner is your teammate and not your enemy. If he fails to beat a doubled partscore, or goes down in a hand that you would have made in your sleep, or drops you in the middle of a forcing auction - remain calm. Squelch the desire to rant and rave - instead, compliment and soothe. I guarantee that you will both play better, and your results will improve.
Tough advice to follow. But it will pay dividends!
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