A Rose by Any Other Name

New Year's Eve, as is my wont, I got into trouble at a party.  Somehow, discussion began as to how to refer to blacks.  I commented that when I was a child, "colored" was the word used by most - at least in it was in Chicago, where I grew up.

Another woman, Iowa raised, insisted that "colored" was a term of offense.  Didn't rise to the level of the "n" word - but an insult, all the same.  When I responded that people of all races seemed to use "colored" in the '50's and early '60's, my friend indicated that I either was ignorant or oblivious.

In my standard "dog with a bone" manner, I didn't let the topic die.  My friend (a most lovely, sweet and pleasant school teacher) then left and joined a different group in the kitchen ....

Despite being correct so much of the time (ahem) - I decided to put the question to all of you, my well informed readers.  Was "colored" an innocuous term du jour mid century for Negroes/Afro-Americans/Blacks?  Or did whites use this word, as the people to whom it referred cringed?

I might add that I already quizzed my dark-skinned lawyer-buddy from Georgia, and it was his recollection, too, that "colored" was used by all.  And I also noticed that Molotov from Booker Rising coincidentally used the word today on her blog!

Still - if I am wrong, I'd like to know.  Please chime in!

Oh - by the way - I apologized to my friend yesterday.  Wasn't that I thought I was wrong.  I did not, however, wish to lose a nice person as a friend because I was being obstinate.

Comments

[Dean aka LD]

Peg,

I have to agree. My family was from the Midwest (and I was born there), and the word "colored" was seen by them as a polite or neutral term. They were also quite capable of using the "N" word, without a thought or skipping a beat. My parents, in fact, asked my grandparents (God bless them) to tone it down around my sister and I. So they would instead refer to African Americans as "colored," which to them was a descriptive, but not an insulting, word.

LD

[Ally]

I've heard the word use without offense even in today's world, by both sides of the fence. I hardly think that is offensive. The "N" word is used regularly in musical lyrics and everyday conversations among blacks, and no one is offended. Why should colored be offensive? Has anyone ever told you you were "colored" because your cheeks were pink from cold or blushing? I have, and I was certainly not offended! =)

[McQ]

Coming from the days before the impact of the Civil Rights movement, I can assure you that "colored" was felt to be the correct and polite way to refer to blacks in America at that time. In fact I can remember my mother insisting that we never refer to some black friends of ours (my father was career army and the army integrated in 1950) in any other way as they had told her the acceptable term to them and for them was 'colored'.

That's not to say that today some may see that as an insulting term (why I'm not sure), but my recollection from my very liberal and loving mother was that the term was the only acceptable term at that time. She was, btw, way ahead of her time on the "N" word which was never uttered in her house on pain of death, dismemberment or at the minimum banishment to our room.

[Peg K]

Thanks all.

And McQ - my home seems to have reflected yours when it comes to race. From the time that I can remember, the innate equality of all was pounded into my brain. My father told me that if my friends and ultimate spouse were good people - that was all that mattered. Religion, color - all irrelevant. (Oh, he did say that marriage with someone of a different religion or race might be tougher. But - only because of how others would perceive us.)

Character was what counted - then and now.